New policies make it clear: children are not welcome at this YMCA

For more than 20 years, we have belonged to YMCAs.
In Syracuse, N.Y.;
Phoenix, AZ.;
Cincinnati, OH.;
and most recently, Corning, N.Y.
Our older two kids learned to swim through their programs; they both played soccer and t-ball on YMCA teams. We enjoyed many a summer in the YMCA pools. Our 4-year-old twins recently took their first independent swimming stroke thanks to the talented instructors at the YMCA in Corning, 35 miles from our home.
We sought out YMCAs wherever we moved because we believed in the organization's philosophy and appreciated its family-friendly atmosphere. We were willing to travel 40 minutes each way for lessons this summer because we felt such a strong allegiance.
Sadly, those days are over.
The Corning YMCA has adopted new policies that not only discriminate against children, but also might put children in danger. My twins and I have been harassed by members and employees on most every visit. The director attempted a small change, a consolation, after I complained, but it's too late. The attitudes have been cultivated.
Families with small children are not welcome.
It began in February, but we were unaware of the new policies until the twins started swimming lessons in June. I headed toward the women's locker room with the twins in tow, but I was stopped by an employee who told me that under new policies, we had to use the family locker room.
Only children under 2 may enter opposite-gender locker rooms.
I grumbled (loudly), but I obliged.
Unfortunately, YMCA board members did not change the family locker room when they changed the policy.
We found ourselves crammed in a small room with one bathroom stall, two changing stalls and a single shower for the three adults and six children who were in there. The floor was dangerously slick with water. A line had formed for the toilet.
I was annoyed, but I decided to buck it up.
My kids were already dressed in their suits and had peed at home.
Before the next lesson, however, my boys had to use the toilet. A poor little boy was in the single stall struggling to have a bowel movement. We waited and waited, but the kid just couldn't poop under pressure and the twins were about to be late for their lesson.
So I told the mom not to worry.
We would find another bathroom.
When I asked an employee to direct me elsewhere, she told me I had to send my 4-year-olds into the men's locker room alone. This, from an organization that lost one of its child watch workers to jail in the fall of 2009. He had been caught taking lewd photos of little girls who were in his care.
I refused and told the employee I was taking them into a women's locker room, regardless. We paid the same amount of money as the other members. My boys deserved equal opportunity to pee. Finally, she took me a little-used locker room where the boys were exposed only to the bathroom stalls. Even with the employee hoovering over us, a member berated us for being in there.
The director met me the parking lot that day as we were leaving and offered this change: she would post signs on the locker rooms doors stating that children under 5 would be allowed in opposite-gender locker rooms during preschool swim lessons.
Eventually, the YMCA plans to add another family locker room, she said.
Why the sudden change in policy, particular when the YMCA was unprepared to accommodate all the parents with young kids who use the facilities? A pastor had complained that he didn't like little girls seeing him naked in the men's room showers, which are wide open.
Had anyone considered curtains for the showers?
No.
Apparently, pastors have a lot of pull at the Corning YMCA.
I thought this might work, at least for now.
Twice since the change I have been approached by YMCA members with haughty attitudes who tried to put my boys and I in our place, specifically the family locker room. Twice, I gritted my teeth, slapped on a fake smile and pointed them to the signs on the doors.
But today I couldn't find that smile.
Today, it was not a member who harassed us.
Today, it was an employee and she would not leave us alone.
I told her about the sign. I told her to talk to her bosses. She told me I was wrong and that she knew more than me because she was an employee. Then she demanded the ages of my very tall twins. In answer, I told her our personal information was none of her business and I asked her to leave us alone.
Then I demanded that she leave us alone.
Then I demanded again and again and again.
When finally she left and I approached the front desk to complain, she was already there. Another employee who stepped out of the office insisted that his coworker hadn't harassed us, that she simply didn't know. His boss hadn't gotten the word around yet to all of the employees.
But he wasn't in the locker room.
He didn't hear her.
This employee did not want my boys in there.
This was not simply a policy issue.
This was personal.
This anti-children attitude is, clearly, a prevalent attitude among members and among at least a few employees.
No thanks.
Our two-decade relationship is over.
My kids will swim where they are welcome.